The happy couple?

The problem is expectations...i expect him not to hurt me over few things,he expects me to understand.We both are right to an extent but thats not the solution....so what is it that we can do to make it better without making the other person feel like crap or just wothless...

Compromise??is that an answer?No it is not...i mean its not really gonna fix the problem,

we are two stuborn people,we are not easily convinced...we dont know how and when to admit that we made a mistake.

i dont wanna fight,i dont wanna complain all the time but im becoming the person i never thought i ll become...and he never seems to understand... its not his fault,i wasnt like this so probably he is also havin problem adjusting with me.

Instead of trying to make things better i just drift in the thoughts of hurting myself... i start crying like a baby and the only thing on mind is that i dont deserve to live.... though its not true!!everyone deserves to live for so many reasons or let it be just one reason but no one and nothin is useless and worthless....

All i want is to be happy which i am when im with him... but then even a lil misunderstanding or joke can lead me to the same sick thought process... i want his help cox no one else can fix it!!

life or death???

he said i ll be loved....

why am i down still?why do i feel all alone?i dont wanna spend my life staying insecure,

im scared,im running away from everything.i gotta stop doing that i cant hide foreva... i wanna face it i wanna talk about it...i dont wanna die .... i wanna live but not like this,not scared not sad... im with him then why am i more insecure...

if i stop writing i mite hurt myself cox theres nuthin else left i dont know how to tell him all that... i ve told him a lil bit though,but it didnt help or probably i didnt convey my msg properly... I guess i dont deserve to live.

6:09 am friday 21st may,2010.

life so far

Growing up,i tried to survive at every step...it was easier then now i feel old and hopeless,lonely.
Losing hope is the worst thing that can happen to someone,its true that we know nothing about the future but we pass each day hoping the next would be better than this.I cant seem to do it anymore,life seems more complicated.Theres so much to explore yet...but i want to break free,
i dont like the person i have become and i lack the courage to change...thats what bothers me the most.Losing my loved ones was fate but what im doing rite now is totally upto me and sadly i aint able to fix it... I wanna be a better person. I wanna make my life easier by doing so!
to be continued...